September 2017 Accounts

Hi Everybody!

September was tough financially, but I survived, but at what cost? (Cue dramatic music).

MONEY IN

Wages = £1218.41

Selling DVDs = £4.50

Closing Bank Accounts = £1.15

We Buy Books Sales = £7.47

Selling Guitar = £10

TOTAL MONEY IN = £1241.53 

 

MONEY OUT 

Bills = £1158.41

Expenses Post August Payday = £19.83

Expenses Pre September Payday = £115.23

Excess Food Spends = £21.18

TOTAL MONEY OUT = £1314.65

TOTAL MONEY IN – TOTAL MONEY OUT = -£73.12

So I got into debt by £73.12 last month. Boo Hiss. I think it is an artificial debt as it may have been spends on the credit card, which is paid IN FULL each month.

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Financial Review of Week (Checks Phone Calendar) 39!

Hi Everybody.

I’ll be blunt. It was payday this week so I have spent a f*** load of money. And if I am being truly honest, some of the food spends were placed on the credit card before I got paid, which shouldn’t matter as the bill comes out later in the month, but it felt like bad juju to me.

FOOD AND HOUSEHOLD SHOPPING

SO MUCH FOOD!!!!!!! = £199.16

I would have bored you to tears if I listed all the food that was bought this week. Let’s just say our cupboards are now fully stocked.

DISPOSABLE INCOME/DISCRETIONARY SPENDING 

TRAVEL (DAY TO DAY)

Bus tickets x 3 = £3

SOCIAL

Football Ticket £27

2 Coffee’s and 2 Freddo’s £4.10 (I think there should be a Freddo Index, basically you can judge how well the UK economy is doing by the current price of a Freddo. A Freddo is a frog shaped chocolate made by Cadbury’s. Now you know)

Chinese Takeaway £10.70

TOTAL = £41.80

GIFT 

The aforementioned in my previous post ‘Well Done’ helium balloon for the boy to celebrate his new job and his completion of a half marathon. £3.29

Donuts for the boy after he finished his half marathon £0.70

TOTAL = £3.99

CONTRABAND

2 Magazines = £8.59

TOTAL DISPOSABLE INCOME SPENDING = £60.67

TOTAL COMBINED SPENDING = £259.83

I’m going to have a little lie down now. Goodbye.

 

September 2017 Expenses: The Full Scoop

Hi everybody!!!!!!

Another month has passed. Let’s see where my disposable income went in September.

TRAVEL (DAY TO DAY) = £33.30

A bit pricier then I would like but this involved a taxi to my Mum’s house and she lives in an inaccessible area outside of Bristol, plus additional train fares.

HEALTH = £12.01

This was mainly chewing gum, which seems like a huge amount (and it is) but my medication gives me a dry mouth and copious amounts of chewing gum and about 4 litres of water a day are all that combat it.

SOCIAL = £86.75

This seems like a huge amount because it didn’t seem like I really socialised much in September, so this was mainly made up of meals I had with the boy.

CONTRABAND = £22.27

I’m taking real liberties with the definition of a no spend year, aren’t I?

This was made up of ‘solo food and drink’ (my definition for food that wasn’t essential or could have been brought in from home and I was the only person present. If the boy had been with me it would have been a social cost). I also bought my rain coat, but I love it so much I don’t care, plus some books and a denim jacket.

POSTAGE AND PACKAGING = £4.70

Not many birthday’s this month.

GIFT = £3.29

I bought the boy a helium balloon that said ‘WELL DONE’ on it for when I surprised him at work on his last day in his old job on Friday. He is starting a new job in a week’s time. He also did the Cardiff Half Marathon today and is in a lot of pain, so it was preemptive of that achievement.

TOTAL SPENDS IN SEPTEMBER = £162.32

If you don’t like these financial blog posts then I have bad news for you as a whole lot more are about to come. I promise I will do some nice recipes for you soon.

I’ll Drink Anything, As Long As It’s Poisonous

I am re-reading Alexis Hall’s ‘In The Red’ for something like the 5th time this year. This is because when I feel that I have f***** up my life royally due to my debt (such as facing the crisis of my contract at work ending with no savings in the bank) then I like to take comfort in the tale of someone who has been there and done that.

I said to the boy that I wouldn’t say this year has been bad, but it has been one of my most challenging years (or certainly the most challenging non childhood trauma year).

I finally told the boy’s parents that my contract is ending and they said they would have worried in the past but they know I always get another job very soon, which I interpreted as ‘We’re used to you losing jobs, but somehow you survive’. I know they didn’t mean it like that, I just seem to only be capable of assuming the worst about myself.

I feel a lot more indestructible now that I have a raincoat. What’s that expression? There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes?

You know you are old as f*** when you get ridiculously excited by your raincoat. The last time I felt this excited about a coat was when I bought my fake leopard print fur coat. Despite the fact it doesn’t fit me I am still unable to part with it, as I am determined to fit into it again one day.

I have also contemplated buying another fake fur leopard print coat in a plus size and being done with it all.

Realising I have spent most of my 20’s overweight is startling. I will never get that time back. I want to be attractive.

No one has ever made a comment on my weight, apart from one person, who shall remain nameless.

The trouble is food is such an emotional thing for me. I need to be happy to lose weight. I say this because when I am low, or depressed, or my life is going down the toilet like it is now, then pretty much all that gets me through the day is knock off Bailey’s, or a cheeky cheese sandwich, or portion sizes that take liberties with the term ‘generous’.

I comfort eat, I stress eat, I may connect this desperate mastication to when I gave up smoking and used nicotine gum and now I associate the sensation with stress release.

The diet will have to start on Monday. We are having Chinese takeway for tea.

#Losing

You know it’s never a good time when you come home and say to the boy ‘Excuse me but I’m just going to eat the leftover flapjacks that I made for you to take into work as you are leaving at the end of the week’ and you sit on the sofa eating straight out of the not exactly small tupperware.

It is payday. But your online food shop is coming late this evening (hello cheap delivery slot) so as you look in the cupboards you realise you are missing one vital ingredient from every dinner the boy eats (which also explains why you had cheese on toast for breakfast because you had run out of margarine and figured you would notice it less with cheese).

So you have a mish mash of things from the freezer. With bread.

In 50 minutes your father in law is going to call to discuss the weekend (the boy is doing a half marathon) and you will finally tell him the news you’ve been sitting on for weeks which is that your contract at work isn’t being extended. This is one of the reasons why you have vowed never ever to work with someone you already know ever again.

It has been raining heavily and you just want to scream ‘F*** you poetic symmetry, I know your game’ but you reluctantly admit that your lovely rain coat is doing it’s job properly. But your only waterproof pair of shoes are no longer that.

You think your low spirits are why you have suddenly developed a crush on a certain TV chef to take your mind off things and now every time you pull up the internet on your phone your phone might as well say ‘You’re going to google him again, aren’t you?’ and you think ‘STOP JUDGING ME, PHONE!’

And there’s no denying it but you have to face facts you have now spent the majority of your 20’s overweight and the evil bitch in your brain who torments you has suggested a bout of anorexia.

In your counselling sessions your counsellor often talks about there being an adult you and a child you, and the child is emotional and can’t handle the injustices that they’ve been dealt, and they must be soothed by the adult you.

Except the adult you is a t***

You often think about how true what your counsellor says is. What kept you going as a depressed kid in high school was that ‘it’ was all going to be worth it. That you could stand all the pain and suffering because you were going to make a success of your life.

And you do want to soothe the child in you, because all you’ve done is let them down. You want to say ‘Yeah, I’m sorry I failed our degree and you aren’t a success or even have a secure job, but I did take you to see We Will Rock You which you wanted to see since you/we/I was 12…’

You can handle the fact you might have to wait to make something of your life. You just want to be sure it will happen.

Financial Review of Week 38

I’m on the home straight to payday. Just a few more days to go. I will survive, potentially.

(Disclaimer, I have had to borrow the money off the boy to pay for my counselling tomorrow, so I am in debt)

FOOD AND HOUSEHOLD SHOPPING

Quiche £3

Milk and Bread £2.25

Pizza £5

Cheese and Garlic Bread £2.93

TOTAL = £12.18

We are over budget by £21.18

 

DISPOSABLE INCOME/DISCRETIONARY SPENDING 

TRAVEL (DAY TO DAY)

5 x Bus Journeys £5

Return to Bristol (Top up ticket) £6.80

Taxi £7.50

(Total = £19.30)

CONTRABAND

Denim Jacket, Christmas Book and 2 Cook Books by certain-tv-chef-I-have-a-crush-on £7.46

TOTAL DISPOSABLE/DISCRETIONARY SPENDING = £26.76

TOTAL COMBINED SPENDING = £38.94

In other financial news I paid £20 off my overdraft, I am hoping, if I move some stuff around, that I may be able to clear it entirely come payday.

I love payday. It’s like Christmas that comes 12 times a year.

 

 

I have the self esteem of a grape, easily crushed

Today I had it confirmed that my contract isn’t going to be extended.

I left work early to focus on a job application, but my heart isn’t in it.

I have lost all confidence in my abilities to work.

I said to the boy ‘See, I told you I’d lose my job, you didn’t believe me, you said I was paranoid. I told you I was useless and incompetent.’

My worry is I will apply for a job and trick people into hiring me when I am nothing but worthless.

I am on the descent to Christmas and I don’t know where I will be working in 6 weeks time.