This morning I took part in a 10K Race event in my city.
A combination of ill health, injury, lack of sleep, ill preparation, running late, you name it and I was feeling anxious and scared and far from the best of spirits.
To be frank I was being a twat again.
It was a real struggle.
To be honest, I keep putting myself into events, and I always have a good time, but I can never escape the fear of being the last person across the line, no matter how much preparation I do or how little that belief would become reality.
So I wasn’t in the best of states mentally, but I grinned and bared it and sometimes grimaced rather than grinned, but I did have a good time (eventually).
It was really tough though, I have a few 10k’s under my belt, and normally I find them tough but doable, but today was just tough.
By the time I got to the 5k point I really considered dropping out.
The Boy, who was also racing, later admitted that he wasn’t sure I would even begin given how I was feeling/acting at the start.
Needless to say, I wasn’t the last person across the line even though I walked the vast majority of it, and I even managed to run the last bit of it.
I am so glad I took part and that I completed it, because what I learnt (lesson time here folks) is that it really is the taken part that counts.
I’m sorry for telling you all a long established truth.
Who cares if you are the last person across the line? I was once the last person across the line in a 5k Park Run and I would say I survived the humiliation but there was no humiliation to bare.
Look, I’m overweight (my BMI tells me I am obese), I don’t have much time to train what with working a 60 hour week when you include travel and I have to deal with a brain that wants to sabotage me at any given moment.
Another lesson I learnt today is NEVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN.
Because if you put yourself down you might as well give permission for other people to put you down, and as I learnt recently you should never let other people describe you.
So I am Flo, the champion of 10K’s and today is Wrestlemania day, which the boy and I have decided is where we go on our honeymoon (if we ever get married as we are both a bit unsure of that business)