At the weekend I was chatting to my boyfriend. It was about my social anxiety.
I was saying how in 2015 my biggest problem was the fact I was a financial hell mouth and somehow haemorrhaged money each month (each day would be more accurate) and felt like a bottom feeder living off my boyfriend. And yet my social anxiety was barely noticeable. So it seemed unfair that I spent all of 2016 becoming ‘great’ (translation=better) with money and now have it pretty much covered, but my social anxiety has decided to rear it’s ugly head and take over my life.
Basically it comes down to “Why is there always something wrong with my life?”
Is it too much to expect a certain degree of ‘having my shit together’ at 27?
My boyfriend is a calm, reasonable and intelligent man. Despite not believing in self help ‘mumbo jumbo’ he could actually write a very good book about helping people as he has collected-through first and second hand experiences-a lot of wisdom and psychological based facts about lots of areas of life people need help with.
So I came to him and got a very good response.
He said that the fact was in 2015/16 I identified that I had a problem with money and decided to solve it by reading about it. Then I became obsessed with it and passionate about it and it changed my life, and now as a result I am very knowledgeable and clued up on the subject.
He said that I would have to approach combating social anxiety in the same way. That it was time to put down the personal finance/money saving/frugal tips/economics books and pick up the social anxiety ones.
I guess it’s true. Whilst someone with my credit rating-though greatly improved-could hardly be accurately described as an expert on money saving, I do have a good fountain of knowledge and get excited by how much I save, even if only pennies.
My debt situation isn’t a nice situation to be in, but it is stable (or as Penny in The Big Bang Theory would say, it’s ‘homoeostasis’ ) and as long as I don’t have too many gaps in my employment history between now and my 30th birthday I can reasonably pay it off in that time, probably before.
My finances are ok, well aside from the complete lack of savings, work contract coming to an end in April, terrible Broadband contract and debt equal to 1/3 of my post tax annual income. In all other ways it is ok.
So as Life Coach Michael Heppell would say (in his book of the same name) I need to ‘Flip It’
Put down the personal finances books and pick up the psychology books.
Learn about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy/Techniques.
Maybe as I play football I can look into sports psychology as well. So I can stop claiming it as my sole responsibility if my team loses.
I need to fall in love and become obsessed with making myself better. For my friends, my family, my boyfriend.